As soon as you turn the lights off start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”.
And then the shadows growl at you and say, “Mine. You’re all mine.”
Proceed to have a secret relationship with the monster in your closet to make the shadows jealous.
Plot Twist: The Monster wants a threesome with you and the shadows.
brb drowning myself in the toilet
But which end of the hotdog are you supposed to look through??
I work in a library and one time a woman came in and she wanted the sequel to the book she had just read, which she didnt know the title, author, or even the name of the sequel. All she had for me was ‘no I just read the blue one, I want the red one now’
I work at the Disney Store and I get asked on a weekly basis where our Nickelodeon section is.